To my sister,
I believe when we are having hardships, I mean great ones like you are experiencing, it is the most difficult thing to be open, share and hear words from others. We try to survive on our own. And anyways, it hurts too much to explain to anyone and it reopens the wounds to answer questions from honest caring people, particularly family. We are in survival mode and want to protect ourselves from more sorrow. This is normal for the sorrows we experience have opened up a part of us that words cannot reach nor be used to describe. The pain at this point has reached the depths of our souls. The problem is if we keep closed there, it may burst at any moment; and if we let it out, we may not only scare ourselves, but we may loose terribly. It takes every effort to manage one day. So what to do?
Our human body and mind is a gift. It is very powerful in working through life's sorrows. We move on, we benefit from creative activities, but there is more essential things to do too.
Even though it hurts, we are human and we need human help; we need human advice; we need to learn and listen from others who have survived hardships like our own. So first we must let others encourage us and advise us. But essentially in order to reach the center of our being which is in agony and which needs particular healing, we are wise to seek the only other who dwells simultaneously there and in Heaven. For this healing...Seek God.
See, God "knit you in your mother's womb," He knows you "through and through." If there was no God, we would never be able to feel pain and joy so deeply. It is one more proof that there is more to you and me than merely our frames. So, start small...seek Him in just your breath or sigh. Seek Him and ask for help. You are Greatly Loved! And He wants to heal you from the inside out. Please let Him.